Hi Friend
This was an average week with shimmers of beauty. When I scroll back through my camera roll, I don’t have much visually that occurred. We produced several proposal videos. We had Scrambled Friday, I flew to Nashville for a day and I enjoyed incredibly beautiful weather! It was over 70 degrees here, so I got to work from the back porch.
The thing that stands out most is my return trip from Nashville. It was a day trip – flew out in the morning, then returned that night. I was sitting on the plan in Atlanta at 10:45pm ready to be home. It was about 15 minutes after we were supposed to depart that the captain of the plane comes out of the cockpit and gets on the microphone. Ugh, I know what’s coming next.
However, he proceeded to tell us that 12 people from the Oklahoma National Guard were returning from active duty and had gotten hung up at customs. He said something like “They have family waiting for them in Oklahoma and we thought it was worth waiting an extra 20-30 minutes to make sure they got home tonight. Are you all OK with that?” Of course, everyone was.
It reminded me of the old Covey story about being on the subway and a guy’s kids are running wild. Covey asks him to handle them and the guy says that their mom just died. An immediate shift from irritation to compassion happens. Collectively that’s what happened on our plane. We were all still sitting, delayed and wanting to be home… but oddly felt good about it.
All The Info?
I’ve had the opportunity to battle with frustration, irritation, anxiety and disappointment over my traveling career so I’ve become pretty adept at not being too bothered by things I can’t control any more. I couldn’t help noticing though, how both individually and collectively there was a shift of vibe, when the captain shared the reason for the delay.
I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. Our understanding and perception of a situation or person can change drastically within seconds, when we have information we didn’t before. What’s wild is that we’re always lacking information. No matter the agitating situation we find ourselves, there is always more info available that we don’t possess.
Optimism Benefits
The upside of being optimistic is that when we lack information, we choose to fill in those blanks with positive possibilities. Odds are reality may be less positive. The realist and pessimist tout that fact. Typically, you and I don’t know all the details, so we’re left with whatever story we create. Mine lets me maintain my energy.
Our life is our thinking. PERIOD. Every single emotion, action, sense of security, fear or love comes from our mind. How wild is that? Is it possible that reality doesn’t matter as much as our choice of thoughts? Certainly, reality would be impacted greatly because of our choices, but what if we give too much weight to our surroundings?
What if in every stressful, difficult, frustrating, hard situation we asked ourselves: “What’s another way I can think about this?”
Instigating Ideas…
1. Add a new thought to a current situation that shifts your feelings about it.
2. Encourage someone who is frustrated.
3. Tell someone about something that gets you stuck in despair.
Friend, much of the emotional upheaval in our lives comes from someone else’s choices. We can’t think THEM into different decisions. Whether it’s worry, fear, disappointment, disbelief, annoyance or disgust – OUR thinking about their actions IS within our control.
You Make Me…
I used to annoy the heck out of my kids when they would say something like “you make me sooooooo mad!”. I would always retort “I don’t make you anything; you’re choosing that.” Of course, that didn’t help anything in the moment. (Adults don’t appreciate that educational tip in the heat of the moment either).
The best mental disposition is to make peace our number one priority. So, when we are frazzled, frustrated and ready to fight we say, “How can I find peace in this scenario?” That gives us the opportunity to fill in the lacking information with bits that enable our own tranquility. That is possible!
I hope this week you think about your thinking and consider how you are filling in the missing pieces. Use hope instead of fear, peace instead of despair and see if you change, even if the person or situation doesn’t!